Spooning

Dear Universe,

Where have all my spoons gone? I have plenty of soup spoons, salad and dinner forks, and butter knives. But where are my spoons? Two summers ago I noticed I was running low on these spoons, so I ran out to The Bon, paid an exorbitant amount for the spoons in my pattern, waited 3 weeks, and obtained 6 replacement spoons to fill that far-right spot in the drawer. Here it is, fewer than 24 months later, and all that's left is one spoon and two shark spoons (aka grapefruit spoons). What the heck is going on here, universe? Are the cereal gremlins raiding my silverware drawer? Is my husband packing good silverware in the kids' lunchboxes? I remember once at Hoover Elementary school I accidentally dumped a home-spoon in the garbage. I realized my mistake right away, but was too grossed out by the thought of rummaging through ick to do anything about it. I still feel guilty about it, of course. Even with that misdeed, when I am at my mom's house, her spoon-slot runneth over!

Universe, as soon as you have an answer for me, please contact me right away. I'll be the one with bloodly lips from eating my cereal with shark spoons.

Yours cordially,
Amy