Flesh and Bones

I am obsessed with my body. I'm not talking about the shallow, unidimensional, "do I look fat in this" sort of persona. I've grown out of the 20-something hatred of every lump and curve. I've birthed two beautiful, healthy babies--one delivery was slick and easy, the other was work like I've never known. Still, my body did it. I gained a lot of weight as a homesick teen living in France and lost it again. I broke my left leg early in my life, then my right wrist in mid-childhood, then my left wrist a few years ago, and this year my left leg snapped, too. No limb of mine has remained whole! And yet, I've recovered. The human body--my human body--is a wonder.

I am indeed still recovering from the worst of all my breaks, which occurred in April. I was getting better-better-better, through sheer determination and will, with the help of doctor-mandated physical therapy. Then it was all left to me to keep it up. And have I? No. You've heard the expression, the mind is willing but the body is weak? In my case, the body is willing but the mind is weak. With every passing day, now, I wake up creaky, and it's downhill from there. The limp is back. I ooh and aah, and not in the good way. I notice every little twinge of pain, not just in my leg. I wake up in a bad mood. I've become a wimp.

And yet, in my mind's eye, I am an active, sporty, energetic momma. I know exactly what I need to do in order to get myself back to smooth sailing. While I have great respect for this body of mine, I live in the world of thought and not action, ideas instead of activity. I do not like this about myself. It's like I'm waiting for my brain to tell my body to get up and move. I'm passive. Oh, dear. As I write this, I realize it's worse than I had thought! So here is the crux: If I do, indeed, respect my body, then that respect must translate to action. If I do not take action, I am showing real disrespect for my body and God's creation. Some who are avid exercisers sometimes talk about how using their bodies in healthy ways is like a prayer. I am sitting here wishing I could get into that mindset. I see now, though, that if I wait on "right thinking," I'll never get around to "right doing."

Ideas, Please

Alright, dear readers (are there readers out there?). I need your input. As you know, I was recently the victim of a corporate merger, and have been unceremoniously scootched out of a job. Sadly, publishing jobs are few and far between here in the Pacific Northwest. I love-love-love the idea of making books. The world of ideas is my homeland. If I could live my life with my nose buried in words, I would.

What now? I have to work to keep us afloat, so staying home with my children is not an option. I've been doing sales for the past few years, but I just don't know if that's where I want to be. I'm good at it because I enjoy people, but it doesn't really seem like ME. I like having projects. Something I can organize and deatils I can break down. I love studying, especially theology, but working in a church isn't so much fun.

Somebody help me, please! We have until January 1 to find me a new job, and hopefully with it, a new career. I'm tired of jumping around, I'd love to fall in love and commit to meaningful work. I just need some creative input.

People who Overreact

My job involves talking with instructors and helping them find the right textbooks. They are always professional and well-mannered. Occasionally I get a student posing as an instructor trying to get answer keys. Because of this, I usually don't invest too much time on them until I have met the instructor or can verify that they are employed by one of my schools. The other day I got this email:

hi amyi'm looking for a book on autodesk inventor, intermediate and advanced have looked allover and can;t seem to find them, I need them to be 2008 but I would consider 2007.Tkanks Kevin

Usually those who teach use at least minimal punctuation. I was dubious. So I asked a few more questions, such as, "What school to do you teach at?" I got this response:

HI Amy
thanks for getting back so promptly, just as soon as school starts i will send you a e-mail with my .edu, also this is just in the planning stage now see i have 20 -30 students in the beginning inventor class and a lot of them want to go on but every time they try to set up a intermediate class there isn't a large enough turn out so my thought is to offer the classes every quarter then i will have beginning intermiteate and advanced inventor all in one the same lab. this might not even get through the dean so i don't know if you want to give me book so how about a list of the books and a price list
Thanks Kevin

OK, I'm still not convinced. No answer about his school affiliation, and it's not even a for-sure class yet, so it's not like he's in a time crunch. So I politely refer him to our online catalog. He says,

you should look at your catalog i did and there is only one title for inventor thats why I sent you a request for intermittent and advanced inventor books. after four e-maile you send me back to the catalog right where I started you an IDIOT

Wha-huh? First of all: no punctuation! C'mon, man, throw us a bone! And then: "intermittent" inventor books? Now really, who's the idiot here? I just had to laugh.

Two Unrelated Topics

1) I just got back from Orlando, where are national sales meeting was held. It could not have been worst if they tried! Fun times included: food poisoning, being included but not included, and suffering the world's most negative person. (I know you thought I held that title, but no, this person is worse!) I'm so glad to be home, and not in Florida (aka The Surface of the Sun).

2) Baby Boy took two more steps this morning!!! He'll be walking by the end of August, I'm sure of it. Dang, he's cute. And Little Girl continues to amaze. Last night she wouldn't admit she was tired. She yawned, and when we caught her, she said that she wasn't yawning because she was tired, it was just to "get air out of my body."